Audiostation - Letter from Ida Dehmel to her friend Marie Stern in Bad Schwalbach Landmarks of Jewish History

Letter from Ida Dehmel to her Friend Marie Stern (abridged version)

25 October 1941

Dearest Marie,

You wrote me a beautiful letter, unaware that by that time I was not only nigh to death but to hell. Since Wednesday, not only my life, but that of thousands, has been one of unending anguish. Only as of a mere hour ago do I appear to be saved. I, alone.

On Wednesday morning, 2000 Hamburg Jews (it may have been only 1500) received the evacuation order. Provisionally. One knows that everyone is going to have their turn. The conditions, most atrocious. What must be taken with: lice ointment, insect powder, fine-tooth comb. To Litzmannstadt. Here and there, a whole family – but also father or mother or daughter or son – is singled out. The housemaid of my Jewish tenants is also included; therefore, I get everything first hand. An Aryan acquaintance of my tenant came to visit. I unlocked the front door of the house for her. A young woman. She said to me: “It’s a good thing it’s not your turn yet; you can make better travel arrangements.”

And no lightning strikes and paralyzes her tongue.

An hour ago, as I said, a letter came from Berlin that I am exempt. A private letter, to be sure, but I’m allowed to believe that it is legitimate. Believe me, my dear Marie, the vestiges of these days will never be wiped from my soul. I paced to and fro in the Dehmel room all through the night. You can imagine, I would not have left the Dehmel House alive. Yesterday evening, Pastor Heydorn, who gave Dehmel’s funeral oration, visited me. He said: “You have Dehmel’s approval, should you not go along with this disgrace. I would also act in the same manner if I were you.”

During all these hellish hours, I had but a hundredth of a hope alongside 99 probabilities of doom. Dozens of suicides have succeeded and failed in these days. A dear acquaintance, who gaily visited me on Tuesday and with whom I was supposed to be today, succeeded. A short while ago, I received a farewell from her. The ambulances are said to have rattled through the city without pause. Can you understand God’s patience? I struggle not to let my faith in Him be shaken. That Dehmel remains my advocate in Heaven as well as on earth is obvious. Because I have also been exempted from wearing the yellow Jewish star.

But I have become a very old woman these days. Deeply, deeply, I pity the woeful, those who have been dragged out. I humbly ask myself, how am I better than they. “We all live on borrowed light.”

Isi

LETTER FROM IDA DEHMEL TO HER FRIEND MARIE STERN

IN BAD SCHWALBACH
25 OCTOBER 1941

Staats- und Universitätsbibliothek Hamburg, Dehmel-Archiv, Signatur DA : Z : Br : De 82.528